Sailing is a lifelong passion! Some even compare it to a condition—one that is utterly delightful, completely safe, but entirely incurable. When the memories of your last sea voyage stop holding you over, the symptoms of acute #WannaGoToSea or Under-Yachting set in.
Sailing is a lifelong passion! Some even compare it to a condition—one that is utterly delightful, completely safe, but entirely incurable. When the memories of your last sea voyage stop holding you over, the symptoms of acute #WannaGoToSea or Under-Yachting set in.
Read through these carefully: if your household displays at least 3 of these symptoms, you urgently need to pick your next sailing destination!
- When someone calls your phone, you answer with: “Over. Cassiopeia receiving, over.”
- You’ve subscribed to the “Yachting Humor” community.
- Instead of buying new stiletto heels, you went out and bought bright-colored topsiders. Heels? Never heard of them!
- You’ve become quiet and distracted, and life feels a bit bland. You need sea salt—fast!
- Despite protests from your family, you named your son Boom.
- When someone bad at parallel parking cuts in, you yell out the window: “Who taught you to dock like that?!” If a neighboring car threatens to bump yours, you grab a fender from your trunk and slide it between the doors.
- For weeks now, you’ve been wearing striped underwear, anchor-patterned socks, wave-print tees, and a sweater with a seahorse.
- You’ve turned every scrap paper at work into origami boats and your newspaper into a captain’s hat.
- At home, you flush the toilet 15 times just to prime the pump system.
- You only allow guests to walk around your flat in non-marking white-soled shoes. Your guests are in shock!
- Before leaving home, you disconnect the shore power and top off the fresh water tanks.
- To your neighbors’ amazement, you wash the stairwell with a hose while your wife sweeps the water down to the floor below.
- Today, out your 7th-floor window, you swore you saw two dolphins swim by.
- Your wife cooks dinner on a gimbaled stove, and you rest easy knowing nothing will spill.
- At work, you leap up and sprint to the next department the second they turn on a song you sang during the last regatta.
- When passing a neighbor in the hallway, you carefully alter course port-to-port.
- Right after it rains, you immediately update your depth charts.
- Arriving at a friend’s house, you request radio permission to berth your car.
- Tying your shoelaces, you test at least 3 different marine knots before deciding.
- As you tie those laces, you catch yourself thinking about sheet lines and halyards.
- Lately, your favorite roleplay game is “The Stern Captain and the Novice Sailor.”
- In your sleep, you urge your partner to coil the lines and hang fenders around the perimeter of the bed, telling them to hurry up.
- Instead of heading to work in the morning, you sit on your backpack in the corner repeating like a mantra: “Crew 5 requesting permission to slip berth and depart the marina. Over!”
- When preparing their kids for the first day of school, hardcore sailors meticulously ask the teacher who the Captain is, how long they’ve navigated the “Sea of Knowledge,” and whether they know that not all mooring lines are created equal.
- You look at people on the subway, in the streets, or stuck in traffic, and think to yourself: “My friends, you haven’t truly lived yet!”
